For clinic this semester I'm at a preschool/daycare center.  It seems like the place has its own language.  I have to do circle time twice a week with two different classes and I often catch myself using all those cheesy phrases that the teachers use.  One such phrase is, "catch a bubble".  At first I had no idea what this meant.  I thought the teachers were telling the kids to literally catch a spit bubble that they had made with their mouths.  This didn't make sense.  I knew babies blew spit bubbles, but did 3, 4, and 5 year olds still do that?  It took a couple of weeks for me to realize that I was wrong (actually, I believe I had to ask my supervisor what it actually meant).  Apparently, this is what you use these days when you want the kids to close their mouths and stay quiet.  Seriously, who comes up with these phrases?  As dumb as I think the phrase is, I catch myself using it all the time now with the kids.  Another thing that I've noticed is that you call everyone friend.  Here are some examples:  "Hello, friends", "I like how Alex is sharing the glue with her friends", and "Hunter, be nice to your friends".  I actually got reprimanded the first day because I said, "Hi guys" instead of "Hi friends".  Here are some of my other personal favorites:

criss-cross applesauce (what was formally known as sitting "indian-style")

A little dot does a lot.  (in reference to glue)

You get what you get and you dont have a fit.

And of course there is a song for everything -- lining up, cleaning up, mealtime.  I have yet to master these songs.  Needless to say, I would never make it as a preschool teacher.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!  I haven't posted in awhile and so i think I will now.  We just got done setting up the Christmas tree.  I usually love decorating for Christmas but it kinda makes me sad.  Around the holidays I always reminisce about being a little kid and celebrating Christmas with my family.  Now its so totally different.  Brittany lives in Florida now with her husband and baby.  I hardly ever see them.  Lauren comes home maybe once a month and she always brings her boyfriend, Britton.  So I started thinking today, why do little kids these days wanna grow up so fast?  I was never that way.  I wanted to stay young forever.  And now that I am older I cannot think of one thing I like about being an adult.  It serioulsy boggles my mind why kids are so eager to grow up. 

Anywho, on another note, I've developed an obsession for movie scores.  I think I might buy a cd of John Williams' greatest hits.  Did you know that he was the one who composed the theme music for the Olympics?  He also composed the music for all the Star Wars, Jaws, Indiana Jones, ET, Jurassic Park and Harry Potter movies, to name a few.  He's a genius. 

So I kinda sound bitter in the last post.  Which I am.  Kind of.  Not as much as I used to be.  Or maybe as much as I used to be but in a different way.  So let me exaplain.  As far as love and all that marriage stuff goes, I do want to get married (at least I think I do).  I used to think that no one would ever want to marry me.  But I dont think thats true anymore.  Now I think I have issues in other areas.  For example, dating and loving someone in that way is a foreign concept to me.  I can't comprehend what its like to have someone like you at the same time you like them.  Sort of like I can't possibly be able to comprehend what its like to walk on the moon.  (maybe a bad analogy, but do you get what I'm saying?)  So if the opportunity to date someone comes along, I dont know what to do.  I get stuck in my comfort zone.  It sounds weird, but being able to fall in love would be a huge step of faith.  Plus, the person really has to be someone I like if I'm going to give up my free time.  Thats something I learned this summer.  It sounds selfish (or maybe it goes back to the comfort zone thing, its way more comfortable to stay at home on a Saturday night with my parents and dog).  Anyway, so what I'm saying is that even if a wonderful guy starts persuing me, I wouldnt know what to do and I would probably shrink back into my comfort zone.  I used to be angry at God for the fact that no guys persued me until I was in college.  Now I'm angry at Him for letting things happen in my life that have created my issues.  I know its wrong to be angry at Him but I just don't understand why it seems like everyone is getting engaged and married and I'm stuck here by myself with issues coming out of the wall.  Should dating and falling in love be this complicated and hard? 

Anyway, on to other things.  I love the girls in my grad program!  Friday night I stayed in BG after we got out of lab and a bunch of us went to eat at this mexican restaurant on Wooster.  Then I went over to Nimisha and Jeeva's place with them, Heather, Megan and Megan's boy friend.  We decided to go for a walk and we found this awesome playground!  There's nothing like swinging and climbing to relieve the stresses of graduate school.    After that we were going to visit Stacie and Krista but Jeeva and Nimisha had to go to the library.  So I ended up going home.  I need to hang out more up there but its so hard to find time these days.  But anyway, those girls are what get me through the week. 

I think I have a really random taste in music.  Here is a list of my favorite songs at the moment...

"Edge of Seventeen"  Stevie Nicks

"Life's Been Good"  Joe Walsh

"No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems" Kenny Chesney

"Solsbury Hill"  Peter Gabriel

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"  Bonnie Tyler

"Highwayman"  Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings

"And Can it Be"  the fast, modern version that we sang at Real Life

"Two Step"  Dave Matthews Band

I've been really reflective over the past quarter since I'm graduating soon.  Its the end of an era as my mom always says.  Its also made me think about what I want for my life (and hopefully its what the Lord wants).  I've made some conclusions.  First, I couldnt care less about the American Dream.  I've recognized that comfort is definitely an idol in my life and so the American Dream seems appealing but I really dont believe I could live it and follow God at the same time.  And honestly, I get sick when I see people trying to accumulate more wealth and bigger houses.  The newer part of my neighborhood is getting rediculous.  Why do small families need such huge houses?  Anyway, the point of this post wasn't to vent about materialism, so I'm moving on.

So my second conclusion is that marriage and having kids isn't the only way God can use me.  Growing up, it was the only thing I was ever excited about.  I really never cared about having a career or travelling or anything else you get to do when you're a grown-up (even driving).  But it may never happen and so I need to be open to all the other things the Lord may want to do through me.  There are so many things single people can do that married people cannot.

Third, there is no way I can live the life I want until I take my walk with Him much more serious.  I need to guard my relationship with God because I am way too up and down and I am so weak when it comes to temptation. 

Finally, my actions and attitude need to start matching my convictions.  I feel like I've been extremely hypocritical and self-centered, especially this year. 

Really, to sum it all up, I just want people to see Jesus in me.  I want my unveiled face to reflect His glory.  I want my actions to speak louder than my words.  I want intimacy with Him.  I am far from this point but that is my priority in life and what I will continue to strive towards whether I am a speech pathologist, a full-time missionary, or a stay-at-home mom. 

ps on a totally different note, I realized last night that between summer project and college, I've had 24 different roommates over the past 4 years, crazy.